There is a way which seems right to a man,

But its end is the way of death. ~~Proverbs 14:12 (NASB)

Quite appropriately, I’ve always understood the above quoted verse as a warning that pursuing human religions over the truth of God’s Word leads to eternal destruction. And I still believe that’s the intended point Solomon had in mind. If you go through life stubbornly rejecting the Lord Jesus Christ, you will suffer eternal destruction.

But this past weekend I started seeing a secondary application for this verse as I realized why I’ve been so sick lately.

Earlier this summer, I’d purchased a pillow for side-sleepers. I like a lot of neck support, and this new pillow certainly delivered! I loved having my neck gently stretched all night long. Yup, this new pillow gave me the neck support I really wanted. Life was going to be good.

For a while, however, we had a time of it trying to keep it under my neck. The sheer bulk of it caused it to repeatedly scoot out from my neck. Two or three weeks ago, we started wedging another pillow between it and the wall to anchor it in place.

Since I’ve always struggled with insomnia, I didn’t consider it particularly unusual that I wasn’t sleeping well. Sometimes I felt anxiety about a certain PCA, about using The RIDE, and about the direction of our country. Other times my mind would fixate on a blog post or a digital art project, and I could not slow my thoughts down.

The lack of sleep triggered the worst migraine I’ve ever had. John and I spent our anniversary last Monday with me in bed, unable to eat, drink or watch our wedding video. The anticipated salmon dinner and cheesecake dessert from Outback was clearly out of the question.

The nurse practitioner at my doctor’s office gave me some helpful suggestions, so by Friday I could type a little. At that point I could eat somewhat normally again. I still wasn’t sleeping, but I had my PCA turn my pillow to maximize my neck support. After nine straight sleepless nights, I was determined to get a good night’s sleep.

After two hours, I woke up with searing neck pain! Worse, the migraine was more brutal than ever, leaving me in agony. John did his best to massage me, but I found no relief.

Then I had him move the pillow out from under my neck. That simple act greatly eased the pain. Since then I’ve enjoyed two full nights of wonderful sleep. I’m still tired, and typing this post has been difficult, but the Lord has definitely turned things around.

When I think back to how tenaciously I held to the idea of more neck support, I realize how my stubbornness made me seriously ill. Time and modesty have prevented me from sharing all the secondary ramifications of this situation, but I can see how things could have become potentially life threatening. Insisting on my own way may have led to death.

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