Praising God For Breaking My Heart

John DrawingYesterday I read several chapters in Proverbs, carefully noticing all the verses on the sinfulness of anger and being a quarrelsome wife. I know all too well how weak I am in both areas. So I thought I approached them with humility, acknowledging my failures to honor the Lord by controlling my temper and respecting John.

Yeah,  well.  The wheelchair vendor put John in his new chair a few hours after I read those Scriptures. The new chair has multiple problems — far too many to enumerate here — that seriously impact John’s health. We’re talking life-threatening issues.

To make matters worse, his current wheelchair Continue reading

By His Wounds We Are Healed — From What?

IMG_0791Like most physically disabled Christians, I’d be quite wealthy if I had a nickel for every time someone quoted the closing phrase of Isaiah 53:5 and/or the last sentence of 1 Peter 2:24 as proof texts that I should get out of my wheelchair and start walking. Usually, the people misquoting these verses implied (whether intentionally or unintentionally) that I failed to appropriate an immediate benefit of Christ’s work on the cross.

Looking back, I can easily see the spiritual abuse I endured because people misapplied the phrase, “By His wounds we are healed.” I doubt anyone actually meant to be abusive toward me, and I hasten to defend their motives. Nevertheless, they most certainly stand guilty of Continue reading

I Say It, But I Struggle To Mean It

Teardrop RoseHow many blog posts have I written piously declaring that life is about God’s glory rather than about what He can do on our behalf?  How many times have I insisted He created us for His purposes, not so that we can treat Him like a cosmic Butler Who exists to attend our every want?

Most assuredly, Christian bloggers run the risk of being gigantic hypocrites. Apparently, this little blogger isn’t immune from that risk.

Life at the Kespert household has been inundated with serious trials and pesky frustrations over the past six months, with very few good days mixed in. Lately I’ve been praying for just one week without trials. But crossing that threshold from 64 to 65 has convinced me that Continue reading

I’d Rather See Myself As DebbieLynne Than As Debbie

DebbieLynne As Queen

How I see myself

Forgetting the previous year’s experience, I’d enter the Physical Therapy room at Marindale School for the Orthopedically Handicapped looking forward to watching a movie all about me.* But the black and white child projected on the screen was a monster who exhibited jerky, uncontrolled movements and a grotesque spinal curvature. My therapist pointed to the screen cheerily announcing, “There’s Debbie!”

I wanted to say, “No! That’s not me at all!” Oh, I understood that I’d been born with Cerebral Palsy, and by age 8 I could rattle off my various symptoms. I knew about tonic neck reflex, involuntary movement and athetosis  better than most adults, and I knew my physical limitations quite well. But I’m sorry: That horrible creature galloping sloppily across that home movie screen simply wasn’t me!

I learned to Continue reading

Ironic Attitudes At Thanksgiving

Untitled-1Eight weeks ago, I turned 65. Almost on cue, my aches and pains accelerated and circumstances limited my recreational opportunities (New England, of all places, bypassed Fall this year, with winter beginning immediately after my birthday).

And I’ve been complaining. A lot!

Okay, so I don’t like my present circumstances. I feel cheated by a hot, rainy summer followed by a cold, rainy October and a rainy, snowy November that kept me from going to Boston more than a handful of times. And I’m decidedly displeased that I rarely feel well physically. I keep remembering my mother-in-law looking me in the eye one afternoon and Continue reading

What Was I Going To Blog About?

Cute Puppy LoveAs a child, I learned that I could most easily get in trouble by using my disability as an excuse for my failings. And I definitely advocate teaching that principle to any child with a disability. But since I don’t have a dog to eat my homework, I see no alternative to playing the disability card in explaining why I can’t remember even one of those great ideas I had for a blog post.

The blogging experts advise bloggers to jot down ideas when they come to us. Good advice for people who can use their hands. As a Cerebral Palsy quadriplegic, I can’t hold a pen, however.

Yes, John’s more than happy to jot down blogging ideas for me. Occasionally he has done that very thing, and I appreciate him for it! But more often than not, Continue reading