Throwback Thursday: How Not To Subdue Pink Elephants

Originally posted November 1, 2017:

Pink Elephant

Funny how growing in the Lord and getting Biblical teaching changes the way one views things. A little over twenty years ago I left my position as correspondence counselor for an ex-gay ministry, largely because of my personal circumstances. Sure, a few things about the ministry bothered me a bit, but for the most part I believed in what they did. I accepted no criticism of them from any quarter.

To be clear, I still believe homosexuality violates God’s intent for sexuality. Those who engage in it, even if their engagement never extends beyond fantasy, stand guilty of sin. Furthermore I still believe homosexuality can, like every other sin, be forgiven and forsaken through the blood of Jesus Christ.

 And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. ~~1 Corinthians 6:11 (ESV)

Over the passage of twenty years, however, I’ve come to question the wisdom of building an entire ministry around one specific sin rather than around the Lord. When people meet together, and especially when they live together in a residential program, should we really be surprised when they fall back into the very sin that they’re seeking to escape?

A friend once counseled me, when I was single and struggling with desires for marriage, that simply telling myself not to think about marriage would invariably backfire. “It’s like trying not to think about pink elephants,” she said. “The harder you try not to think about pink elephants, the more you think about them.” She was right. Try not to think about pink elephants, and see what happens.

The answer to controlling my fantasies wasn’t in thinking about how sinful my fantasies were. Nor was it in gathering with other single women and talking about the struggles to control our desires for marriage. We thought praying together and asking the Lord for psychological insight into the root causes for our desires would eventually free us from our bondage to romantic fantasies.

We ignored a simple principle from Scripture.

16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.~~Galatians 5:16-17 (ESV)

Walking by the Spirit means nothing other than filling our minds with God’s Word and ordering our lives in conformity with His teaching. It does require discipline, yes, and admittedly self-denial causes emotional pain. But the more we delight in the Lord, the less we want things that offend Him. Walking by the Spirit isn’t easy,  but it is certainly simple.

The Bible never advises us to surround ourselves with people who struggle with the same sin we do. Instead, it encourages us to look to Christ with a commitment to glorify Him.  In so doing, we really do experience victory over whatever pink elephants we battle.

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So She’s Almost Admitted It — What Do We Do Now?

Rainbow and CrossA week ago, Beth Moore made a comment during her TBN program, Staying Afloat on the Fellow Ship — Part 4, that subtly offers a clue that she leans toward the idea of homosexual attractions being morally neutral unless they result in sexual activity. I don’t choose to put the actual video in this article (lest it distract you from my main point), but you can watch it here, beginning at the 15.27 mark.

Elizabeth Prata wrote an excellent analysis of the clip in her essay yesterday, which I will also feature on this week’s Saturday Sampler.  Elizabeth decoded Moore’s handy Social Justice buzz words to help clarify that Moore indeed Continue reading

Rejoicing In Wrongdoing Or Rejoicing In Truth?

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Angela and Bill began attending Third Baptist Church about three months before their wedding, informing the young pastor that they had recently returned to Christ. He agreed to officiate the ceremony, charmed by their obvious adoration of each other and their apparent zeal for the Lord. Once married, they joined the church. Within a year, Angela began serving as a deaconess, and a few years later Bill became and elder.

Eventually someone in the church learned that Angela and Bill had met in a church ten years prior to their wedding. Angela was, at that time, married to a man who struggled with alcoholism. Bill’s wife had been in a car accident that left her so physically and cognitively disabled that she needed to live in a nursing home.

At first, the couple merely turned to each other for mutual support.  Predictably, it didn’t take long before they fell in love. Nobody knows whether or not they became physically involved, but at some point Bill suggested that Continue reading

Pride, Arrogance And The Seduction Of Western Culture

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Approaching the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, Americans unabashedly celebrate Gay Pride Month. Boston has Rainbow flags everywhere; somehow I doubt its display is very different from most major cities. The way that Western culture champions the LBGTQ movement now makes it hard to believe that homosexuality was illegal just 50 years ago.

Although I don’t believe homosexuality should still incur criminal penalties, I do grieve that even professing Christians now embrace it. Bowing to public pressure, even evangelicals have begun compromising their convictions that the Word of God condemns all forms of sexual deviation. After all, merely saying that Continue reading

Reprise: Summer Wardrobes And Stumbling Brothers

Before you put on that cute little sundress that you’ve been dying to wear, consider the points I made in this June 12, 2017 blog post:

Young Couple 02At the outset, let me say that a man bears complete responsibility for lustful thoughts and actions, regardless of how a woman dresses. As you read this blog post, please don’t mischaracterize me as excusing rape, sexual harassment or even lustful fantasies. Men must, in all circumstances, remain pure in their interactions with women, even when a woman dresses provocatively.

Have I made myself clear? If not, close this article right now, and maybe read Scriptures on the importance of sexual purity for both men and women. But if you understand that I by no means condone rape, sexual harassment or lustful fantasies in men, please keep reading. And remember, this blog is directed specifically at women, making it unnecessary (and kind of ridiculous) for me to address men on how to deal with scantily clad women during the summer months.

But ladies, I certainly can talk to you about our responsibility toward our brothers in Christ. The fact that the Lord holds them responsible to control their responses when they see too much skin or silhouette doesn’t negate our responsibility to dress modestly and carry ourselves in a manner that doesn’t call undue attention to our sexuality. Our brothers in Christ deserve the same respect from us that we want from them.

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. ~~Romans 14:13 (ESV)

God created men to respond to visual stimuli, just as He created us to respond to emotional attention. When I was single, I was constantly falling for guys who, out of  compassion for my disability, treated me tenderly. They didn’t intend to communicate romantic interest, but they almost always set my heart fluttering.

I failed to control my fantasies when those brothers gave me emotional attention. I had the responsibility to guard my heart, and I very well knew that I shouldn’t have read things into their actions that they never intended to convey. But they needed a man to teach them how women are wired. They needed to understand that their behavior (although well-meaning) led me into sin.

Similarly, we need to understand that God created men to respond to visual images. Within marriage, they quite appropriately respond when they admire the bodies of their wives. God designed them that way.

But precisely because God designed them to respond to visual stimuli, women bear a responsibility to dress in ways that discourage men (other than their husbands) from looking at us in inappropriate ways. Certainly, I get that some men will look no matter how modestly we dress, and they will have to answer to the Lord for doing so. That said, that same Lord holds us accountable if we deliberately dress for the purpose of attracting attention to our bodies.

I’m not suggesting that we dress like frumps. Rather, I want to remind you to be careful, during these hot summer months, not to expose our body parts in ways that could cause our brothers to stumble. Our wish to stay cool, while important, mustn’t supplant their need to remain pure.

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Heterosexuals Can Sin Sexually Too: How LBGTQIA Issues Have Made Us Forget Basic Sexual Morals

HibiscusAl Mohler reported on last Thursday’s edition of The Briefing that two characters on a popular PBS children’s program (Arthur) entered into a same sex marriage. All too obviously,  the writers developed this storyline for the purpose of normalizing homosexuality. Of course this news troubles me, just as it should trouble you. But it also made me think about our culture’s rapid deterioration.

I entered my teenage years in the mid 1960s. When I was 14 or 15, a neighborhood girl that I used to play with suddenly moved away from her parents’ home. Her parents had tried to Continue reading

Saturday Sampler: April 14 — April 20

Easter Cross Sampler

Elizabeth Prata, writing in The End Time, reminds us that Grace IS Amazing as she reflects on her own conversion to Christ. It’s good to look back on who we were without Him so that we can delight in how He changes us for His glory.

For an insightful assessment of 21st Century Christianity, read Mike Ratliff’s False disciples and a compromised gospel in Possessing the Treasure. He apples doctrine drawn from God’s Word to address a very contemporary problem among professing Christians. I highly encourage you to give serious thought to his perspective.

In his article for Knowable Word, Ryan Higginbottom writes Context Matters: The Prodigal Son to challenge our traditional understanding of this beloved parable.

How Do Christians Lose Their Saltiness? Jordan Standridge challenges our misguided attempts at being “all things to all people” with this hard hitting piece for The Cripplegate. What excellent incentive to live in holiness!

Maybe my French heritage leads me to recommend Sam Wegener’s The Bells of Notre Dame Will Be Silent This Easter in Caffeinated Theology, or maybe it’s because The Hunchback Of Notre Dame is of my favorite novels. More likely, it’s because we need to pray for spiritual awakening in France.

The Ligonier Ministries blog features What Do Expiation and Propitiation Mean? by the late R.C. Sproul. What a timely article after yesterday’s observance of Good Friday.

Would it shock you to hear that Mr. Rogers Deserved Hell? John Chester’s blog post for Parking Space 23 explains this jarring statement with a personal anecdote followed by reasoning from Scripture. Don’t forget to click the link to his companion post about rightly understanding John 3:16.

Jared Olivetti writes Lies & Sex as his contribution to Gentle Reformation. If you’ve fallen for any of these lies, please remember that God gives grace to repentant sinners. Then start walking in truth and purity.

Reflecting on the church growth movement, R. Scott Clark of Abounding Grace Radio cautions, Choose Your Metaphors Carefully: The Church Is A Pasture Not A Business. Having been in churches that adopted church growth models, I praise the Lord for this Biblical depiction of God’s intention for His Church.

Christians shouldn’t need Michael Coughlan’s warning to be Careful With Your Mocking: SSTA! in the Things Above Us blog. Sadly, some discernment bloggers do succumb to the childish temptation to make personal attacks on false teachers.

Let’s have a second post from Elizabeth Prata, shall we? Tap dancing on the fence confronts us with the either/or nature of following Jesus. If you suppose that you can be a Christian without sacrificing your hopes, desires and even your very life, I beg you to read this essay.

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