Tag: Submission

The Unpopular Thing That Older Women Must Teach Younger Women

DebbieLynne Kespert1 Comment

We all cringe at the idea of wives submitting to husbands, don’t we? Even those of us who know what the Bible says and wholeheartedly believe that the Holy Spirit inspired it to be written should honestly admit that we wish He had not included that instruction. It doesn’t do any good to pretend that we’re always delighted to let our husbands have the final say in making decisions. God knows our hearts, so He’s well aware that there are times when we’d rather have our husbands submit to us.

Yet Paul told Titus to have the older women encourage younger women to submit to their own husbands.

3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, 4 so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. ~~Titus 2:3-5 (NASB95)

Rather than write an article detailing the mechanics of wifely submission today, I think I want to circle back to the responsibility older women have to encourage this attitude in younger women. Future articles may address the topic of submission itself. Indeed, as an older woman, I must deal with the matter, and deal with it more than once. But it occurs to me that the mandate to teach and encourage younger women to submit to their husbands poses a threat to older women. Teaching submission goes against so many aspects of our culture that most of us simply don’t want to do it!

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A Landmark Anniversary And Thoughts About Marriage For People With Disabilities

DebbieLynne Kespert2 Comments

Okay, so for most of you, August 24, 2002 was just an average summer Saturday. You probably can’t remember what you did that day, nor do you really care. I understand. Saturdays come and go usually without much fanfare, and 2002 was, after all, 20 years ago.

But on that Saturday, my life changed dramatically. I entered the church as a single woman, and left it as Mrs. John A. Kespert. Your average summer Saturday turned almost everything in my life upside down and inside out as I started living with a man for the first time since my father died 39 years earlier. These past 20 years have taken me in directions I couldn’t have imagined, sometimes exposing my sin and sometimes showing me the grace of the Lord in the midst of trials. I’ve seen John’s feet of clay, and I’ve seen his Christlike character.

Landmark occasions all but demand some sort of retrospective commentary. But how does a blogger sift through 20 years of memories to come up with a post that will minister to her readers?

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A Portrait Of Humility That Speaks To

DebbieLynne Kespert4 Comments

Years ago, a church John and I attended did a series on Christian marriage unlike any marriage teaching I’ve heard before or since. The pastor used passages about Christian relationships in general and applied then to marriage in particular. Although his approach seems novel, it actually makes a great deal of sense if we want to teach younger women how to love their husbands and children. Being childless, however, I’m uncomfortable saying much about dealing with children, so I’ll follow that pastor’s example by showing you a few Scriptures that you can use to love your husband in ways that reflect Christ.

In considering where to begin these discussions, I couldn’t get away from the familiar passage in Philippians 2.

5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. 8 Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.~~Philippians 2:5:11 (NASB95)

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After 20 Years, I’m Ready

DebbieLynne Kespert1 Comment

Maybe getting married for the first time at age 48 has something to do with it, but I’ve felt uncomfortable about using this blog to teach women how to be godly wives. Writing articles on false teachers and theological matters seemed more up my alley. And there’s a place for women teaching other women such things.

Scripture also says, however, that older women should instruct younger women particularly on domestic issues. Look with me at the passage in Titus 2:

3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, 4 so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. ~~Titus 2:3-5 (NASB95)

I liked focusing on the phrase “teaching what is good,” taking it to include teaching sound doctrine, I still believe that’s a legitimate application of this phrase, and I think women sorely need such teaching because of all the false teachers that prey on women who aren’t well-grounded in the Word. But I tended to ignore the bulk of what older women should teach younger women because I felt inadequate.

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Usurping A Husband’s Authority

DebbieLynne Kespert1 Comment

Let’s begin by affirming the Scriptural model that a wife must submit to her husband unless he demands that she disobey God’s Word.

22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. ~~Ephesians 5:22-24 (NASB95)

Paul leaves no wiggle room for any Christian wife to rebel against her husband, and I don’t want anyone to misconstrue this article as a subtle encouragement toward feminism. Indeed, I pray people will come away from this article with a deeper conviction of a husband’s authority over his wife as well as how sinful it is to interfere with his authority. I have discussed what I’m about to write with my husband, and we completely agree on the perspective I wish to present.

For almost a year, I’ve seen discussions on Twitter promoting an extreme version of patriarchy. Now, patriarchy in and of itself simply means male leadership in the home, the church and society. Society, however, no longer operates on Christian principles, so we really shouldn’t expect non-Christians to adhere to patriarchy. By and large, therefore, wisdom dictates that we limit our conversation to male leadership within Christian marriage and church structure.

Lately, advocates of extreme patriarchy have been tweeting their belief that, if women vote at all, we must vote exactly as our husbands vote. They reason that, because the man is the head of the household, the wife must follow his political convictions in order to preserve family unity. And I see some merit in their argument.

Yet I seriously question whether or not they take the command to submit beyond the boundaries of Scripture. Does the Bible prohibit wives from having convictions that differ from those of their husbands? More importantly, does Scripture allow strangers on social media to impose their views about a couple’s voting decisions on Christians at large?

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What? Ezra 3 As An Insight On Wives Submitting To Husbands?

DebbieLynne KespertLeave a comment

At our wedding, we had a friend read the apostle Paul’s instructions to husbands and wives:

22 Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are parts of His body. 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless, as for you individually, each husband is to love his own wife the same as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. ~~Ephesians 5:22-33 (NASB)

The instructions to husbands always seemed straightforward and easy to understand, but I struggled with verse 24. Sure, I got that the Lord commands me to submit to John. But why did He give the Church as a model? From what I could see, the visible church has been bedraggled and rebellious throughout church history, beginning with the congregations in Corinth and Galatia. Certainly, the visible church in the 21st Century exhibits precious little obedience to Christ, preferring to acquiesce to worldliness!

So how can I pattern submission to my husband after the visible church?

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Equally Preliminary Thoughts On Feminism

DebbieLynne Kespert2 Comments

As demonstrated in my last blog post, I question some of the tenets of the Patriarchy Movement. Sadly, in this era of polarization, the assumption is that so much as questioning patriarchy means an embrace of feminism.

I think that’s a false dichotomy.

My husband will be the first to tell you that I’m far from being a feminist. True, I struggle to submit to him as well as I should. But even in confessing my struggles in submission, I agree with Scripture that my responsibility as a wife is to submit to John’s authority as my husband.

At our wedding, we chose Ephesians 5:22-33 as our Scripture reading:

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The Heart Issue Of Headcovering

DebbieLynne KespertLeave a comment
Photo of me wearing a hat

The apostle Peter acknowledged in 2 Peter 3:16 that the letters of the apostle Paul had Scriptural authority. In that very same verse, he admitted that Paul sometimes wrote things so difficult to understand that unstable people could easily distort them. While Peter’s emphasis was on the false teachers that distort God’s Word, it bears noting that Paul indeed wrote things that aren’t so easily interpreted.

1 Corinthians 11:1-16 is, according to several pastors and commentators I interviewed and read, one such passage. Those supporting the Head Covering Movement of course believe that the passage is straightforward, mandating that women cover their heads in worship services. This Website offers an overwhelming amount of articles, videos and ebooks expounding on 1 Corinthians 11:1-16 to make the case that headcovering is not optional for Christian women.

Really? An entire movement dedicated to one passage of Scripture?

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Offend People With Clear Scriptural Principles, Not With Peripheral Issues

DebbieLynne Kespert3 Comments
Bandwagon covered with multiple American flags -- tinted turquoise

Many evangelicals, even within the Reformed camp, have been influenced by worldly ideas and philosophies lately. That’s not good. At the very least, the causes they embrace distract them from the Gospel. And such distraction severely weakens their effectiveness for their kingdom.

The apostle Paul spoke to this point in his first epistle to the Corinthians:

For I determined to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified. ~~1 Corinthians 2:3 (NASB)

Generally, these evangelicals espouse liberal ideologies: feminism, social justice, environmentalism and so forth. We do well to admonish these people (some of whom really do know Christ) that their causes usually contradict the clear teachings of Scripture. Lovingly, we should restore their focus to the Gospel, and to a proper handling of God’s Word.

In correcting liberal ideologies of other evangelicals, however, perhaps those of us with more conservative leanings should evaluate whether or not we also let our causes distract us. I know I’ve sometimes struggled with the temptation to let discernment ministry take my attention away from proclaiming the Gospel.

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