She laughed as she confessed, “I love a good fight!” Her admission encouraged me because something in me also enjoys being argumentative — especially when I believe I can win an argument. Hearing a pastor’s wife boldly declare that she delighted in intellectual combat emboldened me to take the offensive in conversations, almost as if she’d given me permission to pick theological fights. Looking back, it probably wasn’t the encouragement I needed.

Social media has taught me that many people love a good fight. Or at least, we love to fight. Some Christians even believe that fighting is essential in order to stand firmly in Biblical convictions.

In one respect, I agree. The world refuses to tolerate the claims and demands of the Lord Jesus Christ, so it will vigorously argue when we proclaim the truth. Saying anything from a Scriptural point of view can open us up to various levels of opposition, sometimes leading to full fledged persecution. And Jesus warned us to expect animosity from a world that wants nothing to do with Him.

¹⁸ “If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you. ¹⁹ If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you. ²⁰ Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A slave is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you; if they kept My word, they will keep yours also. ²¹ But all these things they will do to you for My name’s sake, because they do not know the One who sent Me. ~~John 15:18-21 (NASB95)

The Gospel irritates the world because it exposes sin. In that respect, we can’t faithfully proclaim the truth without ruffling feathers. We will also offend professing Christians who cling to worldly ideas and practices rather than submitting to Scripture. So yes, I understand that faithfulness to say what the Bible says usually offends those who resist its authority. We cannot water down God’s Word simply to avoid offending people.

Yet we shouldn’t go around actively looking for confrontation either. And social media has, I’m sorry to say. conditioned us to expect that we get the most attention when we say things that we know will provoke controversy. Consequently, we find ourselves posting comments that we know full well will draw out people who will give us a good fight. In essence, then, we use our desire to proclaim truth as an excuse to bait arguments. I certainly fall into that sin if I don’t watch myself, and I seriously doubt I’m alone in this behavior.

It follows that we must constantly ask ourselves about our motives in what we say or post. It’s one thing to declare truth boldly and let the chips fall where they may. Read through the book of Acts, and you’ll see the apostles receiving backlash (often literally) for preaching the Word of God. But as we read those accounts, we must ask ourselves if they preached the Word simply because they wanted to spark a good debate. I believe we’ll find that stirring up trouble wasn’t at all their motivation. Instead, they wanted only to present the Gospel in hopes that some in their audience would repent and receive salvation in Jesus Christ.

For instance, the apostle Paul definitely didn’t shy away from making bold statements. The last eight chapters of Acts recount several instances in which he stood his ground for the sake of the Gospel. We can’t accuse him of being seeker sensitive. But even Paul sought to minister as gently as possible in order to win people to the Lord.

¹⁹ For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a slave to all, so that I may win more. ²⁰ To the Jews I became as a Jew, so that I might win Jews; to those who are under the Law, as under the Law though not being myself under the Law, so that I might win those who are under the Law; ²¹ to those who are without law, as without law, though not being without the law of God but under the law of Christ, so that I might win those who are without law. ²² To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak; I have become all things to all men, so that I may by all means save some. ²³ I do all things for the sake of the gospel, so that I may become a fellow partaker of it. ~~2 Corinthians 9:19-23 (NASB95)

This passage doesn’t condone compromise, but it does show a peaceable attitude that sought to avoid unnecessary offense. In 1 Corinthians 10:31-33, as a matter of fact, Paul writes of his concern that he avoid causing unnecessary offense to anyone. The truth does offend, as I’ve already pointed out, but that reality mustn’t be turned into some sort of license to deliberately provoke arguments.

Although standing for Christ usually results in offending those who resist His authority, our default attitude should seek to be loving and gentle, showing compassion toward those who are trapped in the deceitfulness of sin. As Titus 3:1-3 reminds us, each of us once languished in deception. Therefore we should understand how much lost people need to be treated as kindly as possible, even as we confront them with their sin. If fighting ensues, let them be the ones to introduce the hostility. Whenever possible, we must try to maintain peace (Romans 12:18).

Do we simply love a good fight like that laughing pastor’s wife, or do we speak the truth as respectfully as possible out of a genuine desire to see people saved and walking in obedience to the Lord? Dear ladies, I earnestly pray that it’s the latter motivation.