Being Firm In Our Convictions Doesn’t Mean Looking For Fights

She laughed as she confessed, “I love a good fight!” Her admission encouraged me because something in me also enjoys being argumentative — especially when I believe I can win an argument. Hearing a pastor’s wife boldly declare that she delighted in intellectual combat emboldened me to take the offensive in conversations, almost as if she’d given me permission to pick theological fights. Looking back, it probably wasn’t the encouragement I needed.

Social media has taught me that many people love a good fight. Or at least, we love to fight. Some Christians even believe that fighting is essential in order to stand firmly in Biblical convictions.

In one respect, I agree. The world refuses to tolerate the claims and demands of the Lord Jesus Christ, so it will vigorously argue when we proclaim the truth. Saying anything from a Scriptural point of view can open us up to various levels of opposition, sometimes leading to full fledged persecution. And Jesus warned us to expect animosity from a world that wants nothing to do with Him.

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When The Focus Is So Narrow That You Lose Sight

18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law. 19 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, 21 envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. ~~Galatians 5:18-24 (NASB95)

I don’t know why Twitter has been putting her posts in my feed for the past few months. She isn’t someone I have the slightest desire to follow. All my interactions with her have been fruitless attempts to show her why her position goes well beyond Scripture, and weeks ago I decided to stop trying to inject any reason into the conversation. But her Tweets keep littering my feed, all pounding out the same monotonous message that she’s been tweeting for goodness knows how long.

Even if her message didn’t transcend the boundaries of God’s Word, her fixation on one little area of theology troubles me. I have to wonder whether or not she’s made some sort of idol out of her pet doctrine. Her presentations show little grace toward those who question her perspective, and even less interest in the Lord she claims to represent. I could be wrong, but it certainly appears to me that this woman focuses so intensely on her crusade that she’s become blind to anything outside her small realm.

I’m deliberately not mentioning her favored topic in this post because I don’t want to distract from my main point. It really doesn’t matter what personal drum someone beats; if that drum is the only thing someone plays, we should have serious concerns about her spiritual health.

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The Little Word That Doesn’t Seem All That Important

The apostle Paul sometimes does interesting things. Titus 2:5 has me scratching my head and feeling a bit amused at his order of words. Look again at Titus 2:3-5, and then I’ll show you what has me so befuddled.

Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. (NASB95)

Right between “workers at home” and “being subject to their own husbands,” he puts the word “kind.” Wouldn’t submission to husbands better follow being a homemaker? And if we read Titus 2:5 through a 21st Century lens, the insertion of this little word seems even more out of place.

And yet, I don’t think many people find it very startling. Actually, I don’t think many people even notice its presence at all. We’re too busy arguing about the other two phrases and their practical implications that we barely notice that older women must teach younger women to be kind. After all, in our English translations it’s such a small, unassuming word that nothing about it commands our attention. I only really noticed it because I’m blogging through Titus 2:3-5 and therefore knew that I’d have to deal with it.

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Flashback Friday: Look At What You Say

I’d hoped to publish an original article today, knowing that people generally prefer not to read recycled posts. But I am still working on my latest piece, and I haven’t as yet figured out what to do for its graphic. I came across the following blog post, which I wrote on July 21, 2016. It doesn’t say exactly what the post I’m currently writing says, but it might be serve as a helpful introduction to that post. It’s interesting to see God’s providence in little things.

Psalm 19V14_02


Your conduct online, particularly over a long period of time, generally exposes your true nature. I don’t doubt the possibility of hypocrites, just as people in other arenas can effectively hide ugly truths about themselves.  I well remember being speechless for an entire day after learning that a pastor whom I’d deeply respected had been committing adultery even as he preached on the importance of sexual purity.  So okay, some people can maintain a facade for years.

Note, however, that even this pastor eventually got caught.

Regardless of the situation, then, we can pretty much say that most people can’t keep up an act for very long, even online. Sooner or later their blogs, Tweets or Facebook posts will give readers a sense of a person’s true values, temperament or priorities.

If we claim to be Christian women while making angry posts and using unladylike language, we give our readers good reason to question the genuineness of our professions.  I am ashamed to say that I’ve made reckless posts, both on my last blog and on Facebook, that exposed blatant hypocrisy in my life. Some friends who had admired me for many years lost respect for me, as well they should have. My words, rather than reflecting godly attributes, betrayed my selfish anger and pride.

Don’t worry that I’m still browbeating myself for those sinful posts.  Christ has brought me to repentance and has given me the grace to change my attitudes and behavior.  But I tell my story to illustrate the principle that, whether online or in face-to-face interactions, the time always comes when our words open windows to show what really lurks in our hearts.

When the Pharisees accused Jesus of demon possession, He confronted their blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. Then He warned them about saying things without first thinking them through:

33 “Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. 34 You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. 35 The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. 36 I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, 37 for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” ~~Matthew 12:33-37 (ESV)

Our tongues and keyboards may initially allow us to fool people (as my hypocritical pastor fooled me), but those same tongues and keyboards,  given enough time, will tell the truth. Consequently, we must constantly submit ourselves to the Lord, desiring that our hearts and minds stay saturated with His values.

I often pray Psalm 19:14, which I’ve quoted in the graphic at the top of this essay. This verse reminds me to  carefully watch what I speak, type and even what I think. I want my thoughts and words to please the Lord.

This verse challenges me to honor the Lord with my thoughts and words, but it also puts the focus on Him. He strengthens me to obey Him with my thoughts and the written or spoken words that my thoughts produce. And when my thoughts and words result in sin, He redeems me because of Christ’s shed blood on the cross.

Dear sisters in Christ, be aware of what you post online. Those words speak volumes about your spiritual condition, both to Christians and to those who seek opportunity to discredit the Lord. You, once you declare yourselves to be Christians, automatically become His representatives. Please make Psalm 19:14 your prayer.

And Forgive Us Our Debts As We Forgive Our Debtors

Most of us have recited The Lord’s Prayer since childhood. We’ve memorized it, aided perhaps by its poetic cadences and by reciting it Sunday after Sunday in church and as part of our bedtime prayers. Matthew quotes Jesus as He teaches this model for prayer during the Sermon on the Mount:

“Pray, then, in this way:

‘Our Father who is in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
10 ‘Your kingdom come.
Your will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
11 ‘Give us this day our daily bread.
12 ‘And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 ‘And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. [For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.’] ~~Matthew 6:9-13 (NASB95)

For all the times you’ve prayed this beloved prayer, do you remember what Jesus said immediately afterwards?

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Avoiding Legalism, Standing On Scripture And Discussing Working Women

I don’t want to write this article. People on both sides of the argument are going to be unhappy with my position, so I believe I’m putting a big target on my back and inviting everyone to shoot. But I’ve been taking you through Titus 2:3-5 for quite some time now, and I have decided against abandoning the series simply because I’ve reached the uncomfortable clause about women being workers at home. As an older woman, I have a responsibility to follow the text even when it takes me places I’d rather avoid.

Let us look again at our passage, shall we?

Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. ~~Titus 2:3-5 (NASB95)

I’d like to first address the minority that believes this passage prohibits women from ever working outside the home. Yes, this group has very valid concerns regarding feminism and its influence on Christian women. and I will deal with those concerns later in this article. But even legitimate concerns mustn’t devolve into legalism.

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The Wheelchair Square Dance And Listening To God’s Word

The church I attended in California often had square dances — mostly to give singles something to do on Valentine’s Day. Singles, married couples and children all joined the fun, and I enjoyed watching and chatting with other spectators. Over the years, I learned that square dancing isn’t really that difficult if dancers simply listen to the caller. Callers always explain the calls before each set so that everyone understands how to respond to each call. Thus, even though I didn’t dance myself, I knew that the trick to square dancing comes from paying attention to the caller.

About that time (I’m guessing over 30 years ago) a friend of mine from another church had started a ministry to disabled children using equestrian therapy (she was herself a wheelchair user who had benefited from horseback riding). She always invited me to her fundraising events. When she called to invite me to a wheelchair square dance, I couldn’t resist!

Like every other square dance I’d attended, this one began with the caller carefully teaching us how to respond to each call. Because we all used wheelchairs, he also taught us how to adapt the calls to dancing in chairs. It really wasn’t rocket science, even with the added condition of wheelchairs, and everyone caught on pretty quickly.

Everyone except the partner they gave me.

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Purity Isn’t Only About Sexual Attitudes

The first thing we think about when we hear the word “purity” is sexual impurity. Maybe that results from our sex saturated culture. Or maybe it exposes the depth of our own preoccupation with sex. Either way, it is the first thing that comes to our minds, isn’t it?

Perhaps we do need to begin with that connection when the subject of purity comes up, precisely because sex permeates so much of our consciousness. Sexual purity has fallen out of favor even among evangelicals. For the first time in history, evangelicals openly live together outside of marriage and see nothing wrong with that practice. Obviously, fewer and fewer professing Christians believe that sexual behavior should be confined to marriage between one man and one woman until death. In this regard, I agree that purity in sexual conduct can’t be emphasized too often or too strongly.

Was the apostle Paul thinking about sexual purity when he told Titus how older women should mentor younger women?

Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. ~~Titus 2:3-5 (NASB95)

Certainly, teaching women the importance of modesty and chastity would have been a key reason for women to teach other women. It would have caused incredible temptation for a man to counsel a woman on such intimate matters. Women can (and sadly do) fall into sexual sin just as easily as men do, making it necessary and crucial to address this type of impurity. Therefore, we cannot and must not neglect this area of instruction.

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No Whip-Poor-Wills Or Applesauce Cake

Flowers in the North End that resemble flowers on Walton’s Mountain

For Christmas 2021, my husband gave me the complete DVD set of The Waltons (a TV show from the 1970s). If I recall correctly, we began watching it straight through sometime in February, finishing with the six epilogue movies shortly after Thanksgiving. We own several DVD sets of other TV shows, and had almost decided which of them to watch next. But as the final show closed with Earl Hamner reading the voice-over of John Boy’s journal entry, I knew I wanted to go through the series again.

John Boy’s character is based on Earl Hamner Jr., who grew up in rural Virginia during the Depression era. Like Hamner, John Boy is an aspiring writer, writing mostly about his family and Walton’s Mountain. He writes with simplicity, and yet with a poignancy that often astounds me. I especially love his descriptions of the mountain at night, with its sounds and smells intermingled with fond memories of his family as they bid each other good night.

As a child, oddly enough, I had no patience for descriptive passages. I much preferred dialogue. But Earl Hamner and John Boy had such a way of using words, that they transport me to their world of whip-poor-wills and applesauce cake and younger siblings who cause irritation and joy. Each time John Boy or Earl Hamner reads the prose that supposedly flow from John Boy’s pen, I find myself wishing I could make my words paint such beautiful pictures. Perhaps the exquisite quality of those brief moments inspired me to go through the series a second time.

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Christmas: The Teacher Of Humility

As a Christian blogger, I feel a different sort of pressure at this time of year than most people feel, especially when other bloggers start writing about Advent and Christmas before I can even digest my Thanksgiving turkey. I scratch my head at my reticence to join their ranks, particularly due to my fascination with the Incarnation. Wouldn’t you think that I’d be chomping at the bit to blog about the wonder of God becoming Man? But honestly, I’m just not interested in writing Christmas themed articles right now.

A lot of the problem comes from knowing that I don’t have anything original to say about the Incarnation. Or at least feeling as if I have nothing worthwhile to contribute to the conversation. In my pride, I demand that I come up with a fresh angle on it to dazzle my readers — skillfully displaying both my cultivated talents as a writer (my college professors would be so pleased!) and my grasp of God’s Word.

Did you catch the phrase, “In my pride?” What an ironic attitude to harbor after my pastor, in preaching through Ephesians, recently did an entire sermon on humility! Look at this passage:

Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all. ~~Ephesians 4:11-6 (NASSB95)

My pastor focused his sermon on the first three words of verse 2: “with all humility.”

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