Throwback Thursday: How Not To Subdue Pink Elephants

Originally posted November 1, 2017:

Pink Elephant

Funny how growing in the Lord and getting Biblical teaching changes the way one views things. A little over twenty years ago I left my position as correspondence counselor for an ex-gay ministry, largely because of my personal circumstances. Sure, a few things about the ministry bothered me a bit, but for the most part I believed in what they did. I accepted no criticism of them from any quarter.

To be clear, I still believe homosexuality violates God’s intent for sexuality. Those who engage in it, even if their engagement never extends beyond fantasy, stand guilty of sin. Furthermore I still believe homosexuality can, like every other sin, be forgiven and forsaken through the blood of Jesus Christ.

 And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. ~~1 Corinthians 6:11 (ESV)

Over the passage of twenty years, however, I’ve come to question the wisdom of building an entire ministry around one specific sin rather than around the Lord. When people meet together, and especially when they live together in a residential program, should we really be surprised when they fall back into the very sin that they’re seeking to escape?

A friend once counseled me, when I was single and struggling with desires for marriage, that simply telling myself not to think about marriage would invariably backfire. “It’s like trying not to think about pink elephants,” she said. “The harder you try not to think about pink elephants, the more you think about them.” She was right. Try not to think about pink elephants, and see what happens.

The answer to controlling my fantasies wasn’t in thinking about how sinful my fantasies were. Nor was it in gathering with other single women and talking about the struggles to control our desires for marriage. We thought praying together and asking the Lord for psychological insight into the root causes for our desires would eventually free us from our bondage to romantic fantasies.

We ignored a simple principle from Scripture.

16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.~~Galatians 5:16-17 (ESV)

Walking by the Spirit means nothing other than filling our minds with God’s Word and ordering our lives in conformity with His teaching. It does require discipline, yes, and admittedly self-denial causes emotional pain. But the more we delight in the Lord, the less we want things that offend Him. Walking by the Spirit isn’t easy,  but it is certainly simple.

The Bible never advises us to surround ourselves with people who struggle with the same sin we do. Instead, it encourages us to look to Christ with a commitment to glorify Him.  In so doing, we really do experience victory over whatever pink elephants we battle.

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So She’s Almost Admitted It — What Do We Do Now?

Rainbow and CrossA week ago, Beth Moore made a comment during her TBN program, Staying Afloat on the Fellow Ship — Part 4, that subtly offers a clue that she leans toward the idea of homosexual attractions being morally neutral unless they result in sexual activity. I don’t choose to put the actual video in this article (lest it distract you from my main point), but you can watch it here, beginning at the 15.27 mark.

Elizabeth Prata wrote an excellent analysis of the clip in her essay yesterday, which I will also feature on this week’s Saturday Sampler.  Elizabeth decoded Moore’s handy Social Justice buzz words to help clarify that Moore indeed Continue reading

Loving Jesus Throughout The Stages Of Life

As a teenager overjoyed that my sin was forgiven, I loved Jesus. I had seen sin’s stranglehold on my life, and mourned over the prospect of being eternally separated from God. When I heard that Jesus had taken my punishment on the cross, I found it impossible to keep from loving Him.

In my 20’s and 30’s, life disappointed me. Neither marriage nor career materialized, and cherished dreams of all sorts shattered around me. Yet Jesus always brought me back to Himself, and I found it impossible to keep from loving Him.

In middle age, the Lord answered my longings for a husband. Marriage to John exceeded my hopes and filled me with happiness. In it all, I knew Who brought about this wonderful marriage, so I found it impossible to keep from loving Him.

I’ve barely crossed the threshold into old age. I’m closer to eternity than I ever have been, and so many things that I enjoyed in younger years now escape me. Sometimes I miss those things. But then I realize how soon Jesus will take me to be with Him forever, and I find it impossible to keep from loving Him.

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Dying To Self Actually Means Dying To Self

Untitled-1We Evangelicals often get caught up in the narcissism that characterizes this age. Personally, I believe the absorption of psychology into the visible church has a lot to do with this epidemic. But whatever causes this selfishness,  too many of us succumb to it. Including yours truly.

I remember avoiding weddings early in my battle with singleness (I didn’t marry John until I was almost 49). For a couple years in my mid-twenties, I’d explain to my girlfriends that attending their weddings would just be too crushing for me.

Usually my girlfriends accepted my decision without complaint. Finally, however, one had the guts to confront me with my selfishness. She wept with me over my romantic disappointment, but now she very much wanted me to rejoice with her. The man who had broken my heart would also be there, she admitted, but having me there meant a lot to her.

I went. I saw the man who had broken my heart, but then I actually enjoyed myself! More importantly, I Continue reading

Saturday Sampler: March 24 — March 30

Tulip Sampler

Each Sunday, Phil Johnson features a devotional or sermon excerpt by Charles Spurgeon on the Pyromaniacs blog. This week’s quotation tells us How to meet the evils of this age. It always amazes me that things Spurgeon wrote over 100 years ago apply so accurately to 21st Century evangelicals.

Do you know The Early Symptoms of Spiritual Danger? Writing for the Ligonier blog, Sinclair Ferguson discusses apostasy, using a passage in Hebrews 6 to explores how someone becomes an apostate.

In Christians and Coming Out Redux, John Ellis of adayinhiscourt uses personal experience to illustrate the world’s wholesale rejection of Christian values. If you have any doubt that non-Christians lack tolerance for Bible-believing Christians, I urge you to consider this article.

For years, I’ve wondered how progressives would respond when the Muslims they supported refused to support LBGTQIA concerns. Stephen McAlpine sees this unraveling of causes beginning, and writes about it in Secularism’s (Misplaced) Confidence. Maybe I’m not so crazy after all.

Michelle Lesley encourages us, using Scripture as authority, not to be Frightened by Freedom.

I appreciate the candor of Andrea Burke in The One Life Dream That Makes a Girl Blush, featured in For The Church. The post takes me back to my days as a single woman and the guilt I felt for wanting to be married.

Drawing from 1 Samuel 4:1-11, Elizabeth Prata of The End Time shows us that “The more things change, the more they stay the same” rings true. This Old Testament episode should sober us as we consider how we approach life.

It’s a Christian’s greatest fear.  And Mike Ratliff addresses that fear with his article in Possessing the Treasure entitled What is Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit? If you genuinely love the Lord, you’ll find this short Bible Study wonderfully reassuring.

Let’s have a second one from Elizabeth Prata, shall we? “God Told Me:” About those whispers to the heart evaluates claims that God speaks to people personally. It distresses me that we still need instruction on this matter. Be sure to watch the videos by Gabe Hughes and Mike Abendroth that Elizabeth includes in her post.

SharaC, the purveyor of Into the Foolishness of God, challenges the popular notion that the Bible is muddy and therefore difficult to understand by writing Deconstructing Faith. While I disagree with her comments about doubt, her overall argument for the clarity of God’s Word makes this article essential reading. I wish more bloggers would stand this resolutely against efforts to dilute the Word!

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Saturday Sampler: October 21 — October 27

Saturday Sampler graphic

Most evangelicals I know don’t seem to understand the significance of Reformation Day (October 31). Praise God for Michelle Lesley, who explains its importance in The Mailbag: What is Reformation Day? Please don’t ignore this blog post. And don’t ignore the Reformation.

Women like being in control. But, as Jessica Pigg writes in Biblical Woman, we need to make sure we’re Building for Eternity rather than for ourselves.

What does it mean to glorify God? Over on The Cripplegate, Jordan Standridge answers that question with three challenging examples. You might be surprised and intrigued by what he has to say.

Praise God for John Divito’s marvelous article, Living the Cessationist Life, written for Founders Ministry! As a former Charismatic who loves the Holy Spirit, I wish all my Charismatic friends understood these things about Him.

Maybe Leslie A’s When It’s Time to Reap hits home for me because I turned 65 last month.  But it sure wouldn’t hurt younger women to consider the Biblical wisdom she dispenses. Her Growing 4 Life blog features many helpful posts on how to live in ways that honor the Lord.

I’ve written a lot this week about the importance of thinking critically and Biblically. By writing The Brains God Gave You, SharaC of Into the Foolishness of God encourages me that I’m not alone in seeing the need for Christians to evaluate things more thoroughly.

Living in the Greater Boston Area has familiarized me with the name of Anne Hutchinson, and I knew her theology was less than Blblical. But Elizabeth Prata really enriches our understanding of the damage a rebellious woman can do in Puritan Wives: Anne Hutchinson – Screeching usurper, or passionate devotee? And if you’re tempted to think an essay about a 17th Century New England woman has no relevance to current Christian controversies, remember that Elizabeth calls her blog The End Time for a reason. Who does Anne Hutchinson remind you of?

Go to The Domain for Truth to read SlimJim’s excellent article, Physical Beauty without Good Works is Dead. If you’re a single gal, read this as an encouragement. If you’re a mom to teenage or college age boys, have them read it. Several times. Until it oozes out of their pores! Did I mention it’s an excellent article?

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Saturday Sampler: September 30 — October 6

Symetry Sampler

If you want to read something truly exquisite, go to The End Time to read Elizabeth Prata’s essay,The wind blows. It gives a beautiful illustration of the way the Holy Spirit works with believers.

Of course I love 14 Women of the Reformation That You Probably Never Knew About by Justin Holcomb for Core Christianity. Actually, you’ve probably heard about some of them (particularly Katherina von Bora), but most of them may surprise you. All of them, however, offer encouragement as we see how God used them to advance His kingdom.

Writing for Crossway Articles, Julie Melilli lists 10 Things You Should Know about Discipling People with Special Needs.

I Am Woman…I Don’t Have To Roar, declares Jillian McNeely in her post for Biblical Woman this week. You might take a look at how she handles 1 Peter 3:7. Christian women definitely need this perspective as egalitarian ideas increasingly infiltrate evangelical churches.

Are you single and wondering what to look for in a husband? SlimJim, a pastor who blogs at The Domain for Truth, counsels, Singles, Court Someone Who Loves God. His advice includes a reason that Christians seldom consider.

In an article for Ligonier, Michael Horton discusses the Two Planks of Sola Scriptura by drawing from the writings of Martin Luther. Before you dismiss this piece as  just another history lesson, consider the possibly that it could actually provide insight into the reasons we must stand for the sufficiency of Scripture.

Leslie A of Growing 4 Life takes a penetrating look at The Issues Behind the Issues. You’ll appreciate her straightforward candor and commitment to Biblical truth.

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