With Grief And Joy

This is not the report I want to write today, especially knowing that some of you have been praying for a miracle. This afternoon, I’ll be going to the hospital to take my beloved husband off of life support. Yesterday he showed no signs of consciousness, and the doctor said it was futile to keep his body on machines. I agree. I believe it would be cruel, both to John and to those of us who love him, to maintain his body and cling to false hope. Both our pastor and the pastor who is John’s health care proxy agree with my decision. 

John came to faith in Jesus Christ somewhere around the age of 15. He acknowledged that, apart from the shed blood of Jesus as the acceptable sacrifice for his sin, he was a wretch. It was incredibly important to him that people know this fact about him when he died. He didn’t want anyone thinking that he had any goodness in and of himself. Don’t misunderstand me: John was a wonderful, godly man who taught me much about living the Christian life, and I admire his humble submission to Christ. He modeled what it means to be a godly man. But he didn’t want us to idolize him — he wanted us to know that the goodness we saw in him came only from Christ. 

He will be going to the Lord based on his trust that Jesus paid for his sins on the cross. We rightfully rejoice that John is going to be free from wheelchairs, ventilators and all the struggles of his disability. But John always looked forward to freedom from his struggles with sin and to seeing Jesus face-to-face. He would not want any of us imagining him as a guardian angel looking down on me, but instead would want us to know that he is enjoying His Lord without distraction. He will have perfect joy throughout eternity as he worships his wonderful Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. 

I am heartbroken for myself. Marriage to John was wonderfully easy, and the past 20+ years were the happiest of my life. God blessed me with the man I’d dreamed of since I was a little girl, and part of me wishes I didn’t have to let him go. But I praise the Lord that John will finally be with Jesus. Please join me in rejoicing for him. 

12 thoughts on “With Grief And Joy

  1. Such a touching post. Aptly named: With Grief and Joy. Thank you for sharing this glimpse into your life and heart. They are clearly filled with faith. I am lifting you up in my prayers, dear sister.


  2. Such a hard time in our earthly lives to lose a wonderful, loving husband. Praying for you as you go through this. It’s always so hard.


  3. Esayyas (named after the book of Isaiah = Esayyas In ethiopian amharic language) says:

    death for us, believers of jesus is a transport for our God and saviour jesus. i am happy for john, finally he is going to meet his saviour face to face.


  4. I started to tear up with tears of sadness as I started to read this post on Twitter but that was replaced by joy through the life John had lived. May our wonderful lord shine upon you during your remaining days without your husband, you are not alone.


  5. I’m so sorry, ……
    but I praise God for the blessings that your husband was to you for so many years, and what a wonderful testament about his life in Christ. May God bless you sweet girl with an extra measure of strength as you go through this very difficult time in your life Debbie. ❤️‍🩹🙏🏻


  6. My heart breaks for you, DebbieLynne. How difficult this must have been for you. I will be praying for you to receive the peace that passes all understanding. May the Lord be your comfort during this time of mourning. What a blessing to know your husband is with our Lord! May God continue to bless your ministry. 


  7. Dearest Debbielynne, thank you for the encouragement and joy that you share here in talking about your precious husband! I thank God for gifting you to each other in this life and for the promise of you being reunited in Heaven. May God bless you and keep you! 🩵


  8. I first met John in about 1971 when he would come to our church group with Art Jehle. He was a wonderful man and I am so glad you found each other. Bless you.


  9. Dear Debbie, keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Know the grief and joy that you are feeling, I lost my husband a few years ago, but praise the Lord he found salvation before he died. God is so good.

    Grace . From Scotland


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